


No Matter How Far

by AutumnalBloom, awbucks



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Arc Reactor, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hydra (Marvel), M/M, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate Story, Soulmates, Tony Stark Has A Heart, but canon, it's sad, uh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 04:32:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12741081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutumnalBloom/pseuds/AutumnalBloom, https://archiveofourown.org/users/awbucks/pseuds/awbucks
Summary: Each pair of soulmates is given one day together before their paths intertwine. For Bucky Barnes and Tony Stark, this moment comes both too late and too early.  Long before they could ever be together, the universe already has tied them together.





	No Matter How Far

**Author's Note:**

> this is a soulmate fic we just wrote like all at once. it's wicked sad but has a happy ending. 
> 
> read, kudos, bookmark, comment, y'know the drill :)

Bucky opened his eyes to sunshine and a soft breeze. He was warmer than he’d been in...years, and when he looked down, in nicer clothes than his family could ever afford. Nothing fancy, but the shirt seemed real fine, and his shoes weren’t scuffed. Bucky would later admit to himself that he didn’t immediately think of his family in these first moments, which he felt guilty for, rather admiring his surroundings and basking in the light. In Brooklyn, even in the parks, there was never this much green. Or blue. Color was a rarity at home, everything was either faded to oblivion or mucked up by dirt and soot. 

He stood up and began stepping through the meadow. Even though this place was entirely foreign and he seemed to be all alone, Bucky felt oddly at peace. At one edge of the field was a small campsite, so he could assume that others were in this strange place as well. Bucky had heard of...of a place like this before. From his ma. Where, in times of need, you ended up. With your soulmate. 

Bucky scanned the fields, but saw no one. His damn heart almost stopped. Was-was this ‘cause he was...was a queer? His chest got tight and hot tears threatened in his eyes. But then a butterfly, pretty as a stained-glassed window fluttered before him for a moment. It then dashed away, flying down towards a willow tree. A small figure sat beneath it. 

“Oh thank god.” Bucky breathed, falling to his knees and covering his face with his hands. He was nearly crying, he was so relieved. He wasn’t gonna be alone. He wasn’t, ‘cause there he was and…

“Thank you.” 

Tony was sitting under the willow tree, weaving a crown from the branches. He’d just woken up here underneath the tree, and..he realized that it was the place where people went to meet their soulmate. But as far as Tony knew, he didn’t have one..so he was just going to enjoy his day. Try to forget how damned bad he wanted someone to care for and love. That was when he heard someone coming over the hill. Could it..could it be that he really had a soulmate? What if Howard was wrong? God, Tony hoped so. He stood up, putting the finished willow crown on his hair. Then, he waved to the man in the distance. “Hello!” He called, walking through the long grass. 

He still wasn’t getting his hopes up. It could be an accident, maybe they were making a last ditch attempt to pair him with someone who could - who could put up with him. Or maybe there was a mistake. Tony didn’t want to keep hoping and then..be wrong. But as he approached, Tony could feel it. He could feel this bond and..God, he was so happy and relieved. His dad was wrong, the bastard. Tony sped up slightly, willow crown flying from his hair. He practically tackled Bucky, hugging him until tight until they both fell down in the grass. “Oh my God, you’re real, you’re real..” He said, breathing heavily. “You’re real.” Tony could barely believe it. His smile was so big it hurt. Tony had a soulmate, he wasn’t fucked up.

Suddenly, Bucky was thrown into a hug and pushed into the grass. Then he met eyes with a beautiful man, intoxicating brown eyes and a sprinkling of freckles over his nose. This was him. His soulmate. He had one. And it-it was a fella. When he’d told his ma as a little kid that he wanted to marry a man like she had, she’d told him not to talk like that and that his soulmate would be a pretty girl. 

Gently, with both hands, he held the man’s face, admiring it, the way the sun painted him gold, how bright his smile was. 

“You’re gorgeous darling. Damn gorgeous.” 

Tony looked back at him, gently brushing a lock of hair from the other man’s face. “So- so are you.” He said, breathlessly. “God, I thought you didn’t exist.” Without even thinking, he pressed his lips to the other man’s, relaxing instantly. Then he pulled away, and looked up at him. “I’m Tony. Tony Stark, so you can come find me after today.” He’d never seen this man in his life, but it didn’t matter. He was beautiful and after today, Tony was going to find him. No matter how much time it took. 

“You’re amazing, holy shit.” He said, softly. “C-can we go sit down someplace besides the grass?” Maybe they could go back to the big willow tree, where the leaves and branches were so thick they were like a room. Or they could go to the campsite and look around, or..or do anything. “I love it here. I love being here with you.” 

Bucky followed Tony’s lips as he pulled away, in a lovey-dovey daze. Tony. Tony was a good name. When he ended it with Stark, Bucky raised an eyebrow, but not backing away. 

“Howard has a brother?” If he’d...his soulmate, how the hell would that work? He was a working class kid outta Brooklyn with cardboard in his shoes. Bucky kissed Tony again, lingering there for a moment, reaching for his hand. He smiled lopsidedly and shrugged. 

“I’m James Barnes. But you can call me Bucky, if y’think it suits me.” Their fingers intertwined like they’d held hands for their whole lives, and Bucky swore they fit together like two puzzle  
pieces. 

Tony shook his head. “No, I’m Howard’s son.” He paused slightly. Didn’t everybody know that Howard had a kid? Him? “Would it- would it be rude to ask when you were born? I was born in 1970. Maybe that’s why you haven’t heard of me.” A new fear rushed through him. He’d heard that sometimes, things still got messed up. That soul mates didn’t care about time, and that they sometimes matched people from totally different times. And so..some people only got the one day. Maybe that was why Howard said it he didn’t have a soul mate. “I don’t want to be without you, Bucky.” He looked at the man. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

It didn’t take longer than five minutes to figure out that he was by far the best thing ever to happen to Tony. He knew he’d been gay for a long time, but..he always assumed that meant he’d never have a soul mate. That’s what Howard said. Maria was always kind about it, but..she seemed to think the same thing. Just said it in a nicer way. But they were both wrong, dammit. He had a soulmate. And...he could live alone for the rest of his life if he had to, just ‘cause he knew they were wrong.

“Nineteen-nineteen seventy?” Bucky sputtered. That was decades away. He’d be an old man by the time Tony was old enough to even find his soulmate. He shook his head in disbelief, holding Tony’s hand tighter, as if their time together now would fall between his fingers. 

“It’s...it’s nineteen thirty-five, ain’t it?” Maybe Tony was just kidding. Or something. It had to be. He smiled shakily. 

“You’re-you’re not from the future.” He chewed on his lip. “Y’can’t be.” Bucky already knew that he and Tony would have helluva time being together in New York, that they’d have to find some dames that were matched up to live with, but if they weren’t even around at the same time? Everyone said soulmates hit ya like a blizzard and were like a fairytale, and damn, if Tony hadn’t already knitted himself into Bucky’s heart. He couldn’t bear to know his soulmate and have to live so much of his life without him. 

Bucky wrapped his arms around Tony, he was small enough that he could all but pick him up. Not as little as Stevie, but in the moment, Bucky would’a held a demigod like this. 

“Y’sure you ain’t in the present, Tony? Not w’me?” 

Tony’s face fell, and he hugged Bucky tighter. “I’m sure,” He said softly, sounding sadder than he had in a long time. This was the probably the only time they’d have together. “Fuck, I love you,” He said softly. “I wish they hadn’t screwed us over, Buck. I live in New York, but I don’t live in your time. It’s the past to me.” He felt like crying, and he sniffled a little. 

“B-but stay in New York if you can. I’ll look for you.” He looked down at the green, green grass. “I knew all this was too good to be true.” Good things like this just didn’t happen to him. “I’ll try and find you, okay?” He looked to Bucky. “I mean..there has to be something we can do.” He thought for a few moments. “Fuck, I’ll figure out something, I promise. I’ll make a time machine or - or something, okay?” Tony didn’t want to be without him. The thought of meeting someone like him, his soulmate and then living forever without him was just..too much to think about. It was overwhelming and made him just want to curl up and cry. But they couldn’t squander this day. Especially if it was the only one they got.

“I want to be with you Bucky, with you..I don’t know how though.” 

Bucky nodded quickly. “I’ll stay, stay ‘till I die.” He smiled through their shared melancholy and slowly stood, guiding Tony up as well. He kissed Tony again, didn’t know how many times he’d be able to. 

“Be an old man by then,” Bucky chuckled sadly. “But I’ll try not to be too much of a fogey.” He looked down the field towards the little campsite. At the very least, he could treat his fella nice for the hours they had together. Couldn’t do all the things he wished; go dancing, to Coney Island, carry him bridal style through their own house, but at the very least he would hold Tony close and make him smile as much as he could. 

“Wanna go down there?” Bucky asked, rubbing the small of Tony’s back gently. “Maybe the love fairies left us some treats.” 

\-------

Their day had been beyond perfect. The fairies or grand space matchmakers had left treats, and lovely ones too. As evening began, Bucky helped Tony light a fire in the firepit. Then, they just cuddled up to relax for a little while. “I don’t want to go to sleep,” Tony said softly. “That means the day will be over and I’ll be without you again. And maybe forever.” He frowned a little. “Please don’t think you have to stay alone for the rest of your life because of me. If you find somebody you really like, then..marry them. Don’t wait your whole life for somebody who won’t even be a quarter of your age. Please?” He asked, looking up at Bucky. “Don’t be alone because of me.” That was the only thing that would make him feel better.

“If I can find you, I’ll visit you every day. I promise. I’ll come and see you all the time and we can talk about all that happened.” He glanced down. “Just ‘cause we were dealt a bad lot doesn’t mean we can’t make the best of it, right? We can..we can just stay together in a different way.” He didn’t want to. Tony wanted to hold him forever and just..stay. But that wasn’t possible. So they needed to make plans, so he wouldn’t always be..waiting. Bucky didn’t deserve that. He deserved so, so much better than a screwed up kid from the late 80’s.

Bucky shook his head, blinking through his tears. They were so close, so close; Bucky was cupping Tony’s cheek and Tony had woven them both flower crowns. It was so glorious to be with Tony, every moment was a dream. He wanted to bring him home to meet his family and Stevie and live long and lovely with Tony. But...that just wasn’t in the cards. 

“Everyday we’re apart I’ll be alone, sweetheart.” Bucky said in a whisper. “No matter how long I hafta go, how far I hafta walk, I’ll get back to you. I love you.” The sun was setting and the darkness tore him into pieces. Bucky knew full well that when he’d wake he’d be alone once more. The next time he’d see his love, if he even lived that long, Bucky would be like his fucking grandfather. Who wanted that as a soulmate? To be young and beautiful and not be given the same in return? He kissed Tony’s forehead slowly, as if it would slow time. 

Tony felt so tired, his eyelids were heavy, and he could barely stay awake. It had to be some sort of magic, because all he wanted was to stay awake. He looked up at him, and smiled a little sadly. “I love you too. So, so much.” He yawned. “I love you, Bucky. I’m so glad I got to meet you.” Even if it was the only time they’d meet. “You’re..the best.” He meant it too. Slowly, Tony started to drift to sleep. He curled into Bucky tightly, terrified that he’d just..disappear. Blessedly, it seems that it wouldn’t start until they were both asleep. So for now..he stayed, and snuggled.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Bucky walked into Stark’s workshop, heart pounding in his chest. If anyone could fucking believe it, it was getting worse. The war, that is. Not that there was anything on anyone’s minds anymore. Well, that and whoever you had waiting back home. Most of the guys had girls sending them lipstick seal letters and photographs of them in their bathing suits, and of course, Stevie had Pegs. Which, damn if he wasn’t a lucky stiff. Got his mate and she was right here with him. 

“Uh, Mr. Stark? Er-Howard?” The man was hunkered down over some obscure blueprints, looking like he’d just walked outta New York. All nice and pressed, you’d think he wasn’t on the war front at all. 

“Hey! It’s the sidekick!” He quipped, looking up and removing his glasses. Howard was referencing those damn comics they’d printed. Captain America and his sidekick Bucky Barnes. They put him in tights. Red tights. It was just about the worst thing. But at least it made the guys laugh. 

“What can I do you for, Sergeant Barnes? Need a new bear?” Usually, Bucky would pounce right on his bait and say something equally snarky, but this was too important. He’d been dancing around this for awhile, but when he realized that he was going to be able to see Howard Stark on a friendly basis, Bucky realized it was his only chance to get something through to Tony. Sure, he’d still be there, come 1970, but who knew if Bucky was. He’d almost died once already, and he still wasn’t sure what the hell that shit was doing to him. 

He hadn’t been able to write love letters to put in some time capsule or nothing, ‘cause he couldn’t have things addressed to a man. If he died, he’d already be putting his ma through hell. So, this is all he had. He hoped it’d make it to Tony. It had to. 

“I, uh, I actually have’a- I need to ask y’something kinda...queer.” He tried to use the word like the other guys did, so no one would suspect. There’d been too many close calls. Bucky chuckled awkwardly and fumbled with the envelope, the paper crinkling around the contents inside. 

“Well if it’s concerning my extra-curriculars, it’ll have to wait until after the debriefing.” Howard still wasn’t paying him much attention, which wasn’t out of the ordinary. He saw Bucky exactly how he’d expect. Kid from Brooklyn who thought the flashy lights and fancy shows he put on were real neat but didn’t have the capacity to understand them. 

“No!” His words caught in his throat. “No, no, it’s not that, Stark. I just- can you do something for me?” He forced Howard to lose the smirk and look at him. Sometimes, Bucky was able to do get a reaction like that outta folks. 

He held out the creased envelope. This was dangerous, but hell, Bucky didn’t know if they were going to be air-raided tonight or be sniped tomorrow. Inside was just a letter to Tony and one of his dog tags. So he wouldn’t forget him. 

“Hold on to this for me? Please?” When Howard eyed him wearily, Bucky tried a smile. “Not sure how long I’ll last out here, and I ain’t got no one back home. Give it to yer kid or something. For posterity?” Bucky pushed the envelope into Howard’s hands and surprisingly, he took it, setting it into his briefcase.

“Not where I thought you were going with this, Sarge but…” Howard looked back at it, Bucky’s smudged handwriting across the paper. “We already lost too many men with nothing left but their names. I don’t plan on losing you either, for Cap’s sake, but I...I understand your situation on the homefront.” He nodded and went back to his work. 

“Keep Cap safe, alright Barnes?” 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

When Tony got back, he was pissed. Angry that Howard had told him for all those years that he had no soulmate. So..that was his first order of business. He walked to his father’s study, walking in without knocking, because he knew Howard hated it. “Dad.” He said, simply. “You lied to me. I met my soulmate today, it’s Bucky Barnes. Why didn’t you tell me? I met him and - and you should have told me!” How could he do something like that? It would have been better to..better to tell him that they were from different times, so he would have had more time to accept it. Maybe then, it wouldn’t have been so hard. Or..or harder, but it wasn’t the time to doubt himself now. 

Howard looked at him. God, he’d found out. He thought that because the man had died so young, that the universe would just..just forget that it was Tony, or assign Tony a new soulmate or something. But no. He’d met the guy. Shit. “Tony, I didn’t tell you because he’s dead, okay? He died in the war. He went missing and it’s been so long- he’s probably buried in Russia somewhere.” He snapped, looking at his son. It was bad enough that his soulmate was another guy, but dammit...did it have to be a dead man too? “He fell off a train and fucking died.” He fell silent for a moment, realizing that maybe..maybe he was being too harsh. That wasn’t the right way to learn the news. He took a deep breath, and let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, Tony.” He said in a softer tone. “I thought it’d be easier to not tell you than tell you he was dead.” He looked around the study for a moment, thinking. 

 

“I have something from him. If - if that’ll make it up for you.” God, why was he like this to his son? Tony just..made him irrationally angry. Probably because he saw so much of himself when he was younger. He walked over to a drawer, digging around. It hadn’t been touched in fifty-some years. “Here,” He said, pulling out an envelope. “Bucky said to give it to my son. I didn’t know why until a few weeks later, when Rogers told me, after Bucky died.” The envelope was battered and yellowed, but..intact, and unopened. Howard could respect a few things. “It was meant for you.” 

Tony was..crushed and angry all at once, but..at least his dad had given him this. He took the envelope, hands shaking. Why had noone thought to tell him? Wasn’t that cruel enough? He sniffed and walked back to his room, trying to keep hot tears from forming. He wanted to see what Bucky gave him. He opened the envelope gently, pulling out the dog tag first. That was when the tears started falling. It didn’t take much examination to figure out what they were. Without giving it a second thought, Tony pulled the chain on over his neck and placed it right over his heart. At least he still had a piece of him. Didn’t remember him being in the army when they first met, it must have been later. God..what did he go through? Of course he was Captain America’s friend, but he’d never realized it before. His dad had written the man off so many times that Tony forgot. Forgot the love of his life. “I’m sorry, Buck.” He said softly, then wiped his tears away before he moved onto the letter. The paper was yellow and faded, but the ink was still strong and dark, so Tony started to read.

Dear Tony,  
Hey sweetheart. I don’t know how much longer this war’s gonna go, but I do know that everyday out here means another day closer to seeing you again. Gonna be awhile, I know. And I’m sorry. Sorry that I’ll be old and grey long before you and that I won’t be there to give you a life you deserve.  
Since by the time you read this, I’ll either be Ebeneezer Scrooge or dead, I figured it was as good as time as ever to tell you what you told me all those years ago in that field of dreams.  
Don’t wait around for me. Find love wherever you can, darling. Live a good life and don’t weigh yourself down waiting for some old man you met once when you were both out of time.  
Don’t worry if you don’t want to wear the dogtags, either. I just had nothing else to give you. No ring, no locket. And I’m sorry about that too. I just wanted you to have something to remember me by.  
Every day I march out with the Commandos, you’re in my heart, Anthony. I do it all for you. Even if you’re not an ocean away, the thought of seeing you smile is a light in all this darkness.  
I promise you we’ll meet again someday,  
Your soulmate, Your love,  
James Buchanan Barnes

Tony swallowed hard, shaking his head slightly. “You did your best, Buck..I know you did.” He sniffled, tears starting back up again. “And I’m not going to find anyone else.” That was a promise to them both. “I’ll wait until we meet again.” Whether that was on Earth, Heaven or Hell, Tony was gonna go where he went. And..his next priority was the find out exactly what happened to Bucky Barnes, no matter how long it took. It didn’t feel like his soulmate was dead. Jarvis told him what that was like. It was like..the world went grey, and dull all over. That it was hard to learn how to live again. Even though Tony was heartbroken at the idea..it didn’t feel true. What if he wasn’t dead? Maybe it was just the pipe dream of a teenager, but he wanted to find out. He’d break into Howard’s computer later on, and look around in the old docs. Or maybe he’d try to find a way into the department of defense, it wasn’t that hard the first time he did it. Alive or dead, Tony was going to find out what happened. He’d feel better maybe, once he figured it out. In the meantime, there wouldn’t be anyone new in his life. Bucky was..was it. 

Tony had hoped that he’d see Bucky again, but maybe not like this. He was so close to death. Fear racked his whole body. The dog tags that he’d worn for almost twenty years had been ripped from his neck, while they cut open his chest. Nothing he did, nothing he said made them give the tags back. It really, really pissed him off. It had been the worst day of his life but he still wanted those tags. There was something in his head that said he wouldn’t find Bucky without them. That if he died, he wouldn’t reach Bucky without them. So..so he couldn’t die yet. He was gonna keep fighting. Bucky fought for him. Why couldn’t he do the reverse? He sucked in a deep breath, nearly crying out in pain as he stood. They wanted a weapon- he’d give them a goddamn weapon. The suffering he went through was..was more than he’d ever expected in his lifetime, but he didn’t give up. When he got the dogtags back, they were more than a little beat up and bent. Some of the engraving had been scratched out by the shrapnel. But...Tony didn’t give a shit. For now, he was alive and had Bucky’s tags back, and..he was going to start walking. 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

There was someone out there that the asset knew. He didn’t know why it stuck in his head when he lost everything else. Lost most of the someone, too, but never all of them. Thinking about them was like a warm towel or a coffee when he was on a mission. When the green shoots of spring broke through the snow. The asset held onto the someone dearly and almost could see them when he was shocked. Would flash under his eyelids as the electricity corroded his brain. He’d asked Pierce about the someone, and he’d gotten slapped for it. And then conditioned again. But it never seemed to work. It was the someone that made the asset hold on. Hold onto the hope that he’d feel warm again and that one day they wouldn’t hurt him anymore. Hold onto the hope that he wouldn’t forget. 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

James was on the run. He was a criminal. Steve was still alive. And so was he. Those were the facts for the day. He’d read them over and over. Somedays his mind would cause thoughts and memories to melt away and he’d be left with nothing again. He read them again. 

I am on the run. I am a criminal. Steve is still alive. You are still alive. The train passed overhead and it made him flinch. That was one of the things he did remember most days. 

I fell off a train in World War Two. His handwriting was shaky, the metal hand was in desperate need of repair, but it was legible. At least to James. At the top of the page was a single word. Perhaps the most important word to him. Soulmate. He’d written someone down at first, but a few weeks ago, he’d realized what he’d been remembering. His soulmate. James was determined to find him. It was all he cared about. Not that there was much else to care about anymore. James barely recalled himself. Priorities were few and far between. 

But his soulmate was at the top of the list. In both his mind and journal. They were everything to him. ‘Cause…’cause they wouldn’t hurt him. And maybe they’d be there and know how to put him back together. In all capital letters, holding the pen firmly between his metal index finger and thumb, Bucky added a final fact. 

I have a soulmate. 

Tony knew he was out there. Steve told him, the first time he encountered Bucky again. Didn’t give him any details, but Tony knew he was going to be in New York City. If anything about Bucky had..had stuck, maybe it was the promise he made. Now, Tony spent all of his time patrolling the city. Crime had dropped substantially, but that wasn’t his reasoning behind it. He was searching for Bucky. No matter how cold out it was or if it was raining, or snowing..Tony didn’t care. He checked in every shadowy spot, abandoned apartment and bridge underpass. All he did was carry two cups of tea and an extra scarf in his bag. He’d wander until the tea and his nose were freezing, and he was too tired to continue. Every day for..weeks, he walked around like that until he got a tip from Jarvis. 

That was when he finally found the man. They both looked so different. Not just a bit older, but..tired. Hurt. “Bucky,” He called softly, not wanting to scare the man. He shivered. It was him, wasn’t it? Long, dark hair with the soft curls, not too different from the old color he’d had. Those eyes..that felt empty now. The arm. Well, that was new- but..not the end of the world. Tony had some new hardware too. “It’s me, Tony..your soulmate. I still have your dogtags, the ones you gave me.” He looked up at the corner. “I miss you. Please come home with me. I have tea, and a warm scarf for you. I have a warm place for you to stay.” His soulmate was alive, that was amazing in and of itself. But..Tony wanted so badly to take him home, keep him safe. That was all that mattered now. If he stayed out here much longer, he’d surely die from the cold.

James had heard the man coming soon as he stepped on the sidewalk, but something deep inside him told him not to be threatened. When he came into view, he looked up from his journal and nearly crushed it with his fists. 

It was him. He hadn’t forgotten. His soulmate! Bucky watched him slowly, listening to every word he had to say, Tony. It was him. Last time...last time had been in that meadow. Long ago. Before Captain America and before the train. Tony. 

Sweetheart. Darling. Tony. Bucky smiled a bit, silent tears falling from his eyes and down his cheeks. He’d looked to the stars; in Brooklyn, to Italy, to Russia to when all he could was pretend the lightbulbs were sky, and had hoped his someone saw the same ones. And he had. 

Bucky climbed down from where he’d been hiding. Towards Tony. He hadn’t forgotten him. Bucky...Bucky never could either. But Tony had years to. Of freedom and life and glory. Surely, he must have, right? When he got down to him, all Bucky could do was stand there and take him in. 

“See?” He said slowly, his voice rough from disuse. “Told you I’d get back to you.” 

Tony smiled a little, happy tears forming. “I know, sweetheart. Everybody told me that you were dead, but..I never stopped looking for you. I missed you.” He reached out, offering his hand. God, Tony wanted to tackle him like he had all those years ago, wrap him in the tightest hug he could muster, but..Tony wasn’t sure either one of them could handle it. He didn’t want Bucky to think he was damaged goods, even though he was. It was clear they’d both been through a lot of shit the past few years.

“C- can I hug you, sweetheart? It’s okay if not.” He understood. Damn, he understood. Most of the time, Tony couldn’t handle it, but..he wanted to try this time to connect. If he couldn’t hug his soulmate, how could he really function? What kind of a soulmate would he be? “I love you. It’s..nothing’s gonna change that, I promise. We’re in it for the long haul at this point.” He smiled more. “We should go home. It’s really, really cold right now.” He shivered a little. Tony didn’t like the cold, or the rain, or anything wet..but it was worth it to find his sweetheart. Now, he just wanted to go home and take off his soggy boots and warm up. Pretend his chest wasn’t tight and full of anxiety and shrapnel. “Please?” He added softly.

Bucky took his hand immediately, holding it like fine china. When Tony asked if he could hug him, he stepped forward into his soulmate’s arms and melted into them. He stayed there for a wonderful moment before stepping away and nodding at the notion of going home. 

Home hadn’t been in Bucky’s vocabulary since 1943. There hadn’t been a place he’d wanted to go back to for decades. Or even a place he could go back to. It had been cold. Cold for so long. Grass was trampled and windows were broken. Fires were doused and time flittered away like ash. Home was like spun gold to Bucky. So delicate and special he had to be careful with it. Keep it safe, lest it turn to dust. But now, as Tony guided him back up to the street and into the back of a car, where it was warm and he had blankets waiting for them, home started to feel like brick and mortar and the spun gold was strung like jewelry, safe ‘round their necks. Gently, Bucky rested his head on Tony’s shoulder, closing his eyes fearlessly. 

They were going home.


End file.
